So called

Dear friend,

I hate how no matter how much I miss a person, there's nothing I can do because of the so called "socially acceptable rules of boy-girl relationships." Why can't a girl just message a guy first without the assumption that she likes him, or that she's a *snake*?

(snake - a person who is trying to pursue someone who is already in a relationship)

I hate how I genuinely just miss you as a person, but there's nothing I can do about it because feelings always get in the way of things. I genuinely miss talking to you about the most random things I could think of. I miss how we would talk about faith and God and our struggles with the world. I miss having someone who understood how busy and how involved I was in church, because you did the same things. I miss having someone who thought of me so highly that it gave him butterflies every time he would ask other people about me. I miss how you messaged me in the morning before going to school. I miss how you always seemed to be worried about who I was with or where I was or what I was doing. I miss knowing that all your tweets were about me, and not somebody else.

I know it may seem like I want you back, and maybe a little part of me still does. Although for now, I just miss you. I just want to talk to you. I just want to forget about the feelings and all the technicalities and just talk to you, because damn it, I miss you so much it's making me go bonkers. And don't get me wrong, I don't just miss the idea of you, I miss you. I miss your weird brace face that somehow makes you look more attractive. I miss your weird low maintenance looking hair. I miss how you messaged me in every possible social media possible just because I threw a small tantrum because you teased me a little. I miss how you got so baffled when I tried to be sassy. I just miss everything about you. I just really wish I could turn back time and go back for you.

I wish I could tell past Kim how much she'd miss you and how much she'd regret everything.

I just really miss you, and I wish that there was something I could do about it, but alas there's nothing I can do but hope that God puts you in my small group, or puts you in my path somehow.

xx

K