Hi, I know you're probably tired of me writing long messages just as much as I'm tired of writing them, but there are just some things I need to say. First of, I want to say sorry for breaking your heart. Not once, but little by little everyday. I know it may not seem like I know that but I do and I hate how I did that to you.
I know that how much you love me, I really do and I appreciate that but you need to stop trying to find yourself in others. I know you say that you need to escape with everything that's going on right now but trust me when I say you're not doing it properly. Life's hurt you pretty bad and that's okay because everyone is hurting and you need to give yourself time to heal. Stop trying to find others to fix you and fix yourself. You do not need anyone besides yourself right now.
I also want to say that I'm sorry you have to deal with my messy mind right now especially with everything that's going on with your life, but please understand that I've never done the whole relationship thing and that just isn't my priority right now. I want to live my life and try to focus on becoming a better person. I know you don't want to hear this but it just isn't you. I always pray that God gives me someone who I can rely on and someone who I can call at 3 am just because I can't sleep and I'm sorry but that's just not you.
lastly, I just want to share with you a word of advice. Personally, I don't show or reveal too much of myself to a person so that I don't get hurt and I move on very fast because I have come to accept that some people stay and some people don't and honestly that's okay because eventually God will put whoever should be in your life to well, stay. I love you as my friend I really do, there will always be a space in my heart for you if you need me and I hope that someday, you find the love you keep trying to give to everyone else.
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