He makes me feel

Dear friend,

I haven't caught up with you in a while, but there's a guy I used to make mess with. Not in the sexual kind of way of course, that's not something I would do. I used to tell him I loved him just for the fun of it. I found him cute but I never really thought about liking him for real. I honestly though nothing would ever happen but something did. He messaged me one day and I got so shocked because I never expected it from him but I guess the best things in life come unexpectedly.

He loves me a lot, and I know that. It hurts me knowing that I don't love him back but I can't force it because it would hurt him even more. We still talk and I like that because I want to keep him in my life but to be honestly I don't really know how he makes me feel. He makes me feel special at times because out of all the people he could love that much, he picked me. Sometimes, he makes me feel horrible because I don't love him the way he loves me.

I honestly don't know what I feel towards him because he makes me feel so GAH and I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.