Social media awkwardness

Dear friend,

Social media awkwardness. It's so easy for people these days to talk to other people via social media because you can't see them but then when it comes that dreaded moment when you guys actually have to see each other because well you go to the same school or something like that one of the other will eventually find it too awkward too handle, and in this case it's me, why am I not surprised. And that is exactly how I feel and I just hate how we talked so much during the summer and it's so awkward for me to see him during breaks or whatever (and I literally see him everywhere)

And another this that's going to make the already very awkward situation even more awkward is we kind of just stopped talking but he says hi to me in the hallways now un-like the previous days where I would run aways form him and pray to our very loving and forgiving God that he doesn't see me

And today when he said hi to me I knew that it was him that it was the same guy who would make fun of me when I called him dude or the same person that was there for me when I couldn't sleep. And I can honestly say that I fucking miss him. I just don't even know what's going on between the two of us because honestly I know he feels nothing for me but he just makes it seem like he does feel something for me but I don't even know anymore I just honestly want to be happy that's all I want and is it so bad that he makes me happy?

I know that he's nowhere near perfect, he's rude, he acts like a child and don't even get me started with him being NR when he wants to be NR I mean I am the complete opposite of NR and he goes all NR on me my goodness gracious, anyways the purpose of this is not to tell you all his flaws because honestly, in the end he makes me happy and he makes me feel like I'm special even when I'm not.

And yeah I see the same guy that made me smile from my ear to ear but he just stopped trying and it hurts because here I am missing him like crazy and I bet I never even crossed him mind today even when he says hi to me. I just want to know, if there's even the slightest possibility that he would like me because I am here waiting for him but just like he said, "I can't wait forever"

xx