Dear friend,
There are so many people in life that I no longer talk to as often as before; but for me, that doesn't mean that I love them any less than I did before. There are so many people in my life that I miss, but no longer talk to but that's okay because I still love them nonetheless.
If I made a list of the people I miss, it would take quite sometime. For now, I want to tell you about camp guy. Do you remember camp guy? he was and always will be my "almost is never enough." It took me a while to get over the idea of him, and even I was surprised with myself. I guess it was just hard for me to move on and accept that he was no longer going to be a big part of my life because there were so many things going on at around the same time and it was all just very overwhelming for me, but hey the past is the past.
Even though we don't talk anymore, I still am genuinely happy for everything that he's accomplished. I am happy that he found someone who loves him with all her heart, and makes him smile and doesn't make him nervous, like I did. I'm happy that he's pursuing all the things he've been dreaming about, and that he's building a good future for himself because the truth is, I will never stop cheering and supporting the people I love, even when we no longer talk.
xx
Kim
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Snob
Dear friend,
First things first, when a girl is on her period you do not ever mess with her. I repeat, never I can't emphasise that enough. There are times that I just want to hide in my room because I honestly feel like if I step out I would probably end up cutting someone's head off or gravely offending them.
I honestly feel like I want to cut my stomach open and just ugh. Have I mentioned that I feel like a fat bloated whale every fucking time I eat? I mean it's like any second now Moby dick is gonna appear in the corner and just hunt me down. To be completely honest, that doesn't sound too bad right now. And have I mentioned that my digestion is horrible? I hate this. And have I mentioned I'm always thirsty? which is horrible because that would mean more horrible disgusting trips to the bathroom.
And lastly, the attitude. I honestly don't mean to be a complete bitch, it just happens naturally. It's like, my brain is naturally wired to be a bitch when I'm on my period. It's like a become this complete snob who doesn't care about anyone, and I admit that. Most of the time, I just wish that things didn't have to be this way. I h a t e hormones.
xx
First things first, when a girl is on her period you do not ever mess with her. I repeat, never I can't emphasise that enough. There are times that I just want to hide in my room because I honestly feel like if I step out I would probably end up cutting someone's head off or gravely offending them.
I honestly feel like I want to cut my stomach open and just ugh. Have I mentioned that I feel like a fat bloated whale every fucking time I eat? I mean it's like any second now Moby dick is gonna appear in the corner and just hunt me down. To be completely honest, that doesn't sound too bad right now. And have I mentioned that my digestion is horrible? I hate this. And have I mentioned I'm always thirsty? which is horrible because that would mean more horrible disgusting trips to the bathroom.
And lastly, the attitude. I honestly don't mean to be a complete bitch, it just happens naturally. It's like, my brain is naturally wired to be a bitch when I'm on my period. It's like a become this complete snob who doesn't care about anyone, and I admit that. Most of the time, I just wish that things didn't have to be this way. I h a t e hormones.
xx
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
It is what it is
Hey there,
Honestly, talking to you made me see things so much clearer. Although as relieved as I am, I'm also hurt. I'm hurt because you let go too soon. I don't blame you though, I did too. I'm sorry I didn't follow up with you the next day, I take full responsibility for that. I must admit I was focused on other things and other people that I didn't even think about messaging you and I am filed with regret knowing that I could've done something, and yet I didn't.
In one of my camps, I think it was the camp of 2013 if I'm not mistaken, my small group leader told my group-mates and I that"The best kind of love, is the love you find here." During that time of course I didn't acknowledge it as much, although I fully believed in it. Those were the days when everyone around me had found love. My brother was with his girlfriend of 3 years, nothing stopped him from getting to her. She lived quite far from us and yet my brother always managed to surprise her and spend time with her. In all honesty, I liked her for my brother very much. Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always wanted to find that kind of love in camp, and I still do.
The following years, I became quite busy with my committee and don't get me wrong I do not regret it at all. Although since I became quite busy, I didn't have enough time to focus on anyone new other than those who wanted to know me or already knew me. This year, I thought everything was going to be normal and then you came along. The first day of camp, we had a meeting and I thought you were cute but I was busy so I didn't think it was a big deal or anything until I found out that you liked me. I would get so excited to talk about you and to go to meetings because it gave me a chance to spend time with you but alas I failed.
Don't get me wrong, I liked you but it's not that simple. You see, I'm not the type of girl who particularly "likes" people. Whenever someone like you shows up in my life, I only give half of my heart because if it doesn't work out, then I wouldn't get hurt. I move on very quickly. Although I hope a lot. When someone comes along, I always hope that maybe it would turn out differently, but I guess it didn't and I'm fine.
Lastly, it hurts to know that you moved on so quickly but I guess that's all it's ever going to be, a temporary feeling. There are so many things I still want to know like what happened to us, or how it happened, or what would've happened if we never stopped talking? would we have worked out? I don't know.
Despite everything, I am so happy that we're so mature about the situation and that we both know that we're here for each other but not in that way. In all honesty, that is the cleanest type of closure that I've ever had with anybody...ever. I guess that's it for now I mean in the end, it is what it is right?
See ya around, bud.
xx
K
Honestly, talking to you made me see things so much clearer. Although as relieved as I am, I'm also hurt. I'm hurt because you let go too soon. I don't blame you though, I did too. I'm sorry I didn't follow up with you the next day, I take full responsibility for that. I must admit I was focused on other things and other people that I didn't even think about messaging you and I am filed with regret knowing that I could've done something, and yet I didn't.
In one of my camps, I think it was the camp of 2013 if I'm not mistaken, my small group leader told my group-mates and I that"The best kind of love, is the love you find here." During that time of course I didn't acknowledge it as much, although I fully believed in it. Those were the days when everyone around me had found love. My brother was with his girlfriend of 3 years, nothing stopped him from getting to her. She lived quite far from us and yet my brother always managed to surprise her and spend time with her. In all honesty, I liked her for my brother very much. Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always wanted to find that kind of love in camp, and I still do.
The following years, I became quite busy with my committee and don't get me wrong I do not regret it at all. Although since I became quite busy, I didn't have enough time to focus on anyone new other than those who wanted to know me or already knew me. This year, I thought everything was going to be normal and then you came along. The first day of camp, we had a meeting and I thought you were cute but I was busy so I didn't think it was a big deal or anything until I found out that you liked me. I would get so excited to talk about you and to go to meetings because it gave me a chance to spend time with you but alas I failed.
Don't get me wrong, I liked you but it's not that simple. You see, I'm not the type of girl who particularly "likes" people. Whenever someone like you shows up in my life, I only give half of my heart because if it doesn't work out, then I wouldn't get hurt. I move on very quickly. Although I hope a lot. When someone comes along, I always hope that maybe it would turn out differently, but I guess it didn't and I'm fine.
Lastly, it hurts to know that you moved on so quickly but I guess that's all it's ever going to be, a temporary feeling. There are so many things I still want to know like what happened to us, or how it happened, or what would've happened if we never stopped talking? would we have worked out? I don't know.
Despite everything, I am so happy that we're so mature about the situation and that we both know that we're here for each other but not in that way. In all honesty, that is the cleanest type of closure that I've ever had with anybody...ever. I guess that's it for now I mean in the end, it is what it is right?
See ya around, bud.
xx
K
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