Dear friend,
There is a certain amount of bullshit that nice people can take before they completely go bonkers and for me, there are multiple factors.
Factor #1 (When your best friend is acting like a total bitch)
Not to sound like a dick or anything, but I've honestly kind and understanding but at some point, you just have to give in. My emotions are a mixture of anger because I'm just so done and I don't want to do it anymore, but mostly I just feel depressed because my inner kindness doesn't know how to handle it. but honestly reasons why I feel like this towards my best friend:
-She's being so insensitive that she doesn't even know that what she says hurts me, and that she makes me cry.
-She's never there for me because I know that she would never know what to say.
-Without her knowing, she's very boastful and degrading and rubs in my face that I've completely failed in life :)
-She always tries to insert herself in the parts of my life I don't want her in.
-She doesn't understand that there are just some things I want to keep for myself
-She just doesn't understand, and she doesn't even try.
Factor #2
I never understood why bad people got good things and why good people got bad things, and unfortunately that is happening right now that it's affecting the people who actually do good things, never get credited, but maybe that's because we don't really need prove to other people that what we do is for God, but I just think it's unfair.
I don't think I can list down anymore because a nice person like me doesn't look at the things like that.
xx
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Friday, August 7, 2015
Intentions
Dear Friend,
Everyone seems to be a normal person until the way you look at them changes, of course that doesn't necessarily mean in a bad way or anything but it's our intentions that change. Sometimes we once looked at someone like we wanted to maybe be the person that makes them happy and to be there in the morning to tell them that they look beautiful, even if we haven't seen them and at night to be the last person to make them feel better and then one day your intentions change and then you realise that maybe that person was better off as your friend anyways, but then what changes? of course our intentions but why, why does it change.
Today in physics class we learned that everyone has a different reaction time to things, and I'd like to believe that it's the same way as our perspectives and intentions and even our feelings towards someone, some people (like me) look at a situation, analyses it and just stop my feelings from there, but some people look at a situation and they don't care what the statistics are or the possibilities because that's how they see someone and that's how they want to see someone, even through all the hurt and the pain they want to keep going forward because it's all about the intentions.
Most of the time it feels like shit to get your heart broken but once your intentions change, it's freeing it's amazing it feels like you have nothing to be ashamed of or anything, it's amazing
xx
Everyone seems to be a normal person until the way you look at them changes, of course that doesn't necessarily mean in a bad way or anything but it's our intentions that change. Sometimes we once looked at someone like we wanted to maybe be the person that makes them happy and to be there in the morning to tell them that they look beautiful, even if we haven't seen them and at night to be the last person to make them feel better and then one day your intentions change and then you realise that maybe that person was better off as your friend anyways, but then what changes? of course our intentions but why, why does it change.
Today in physics class we learned that everyone has a different reaction time to things, and I'd like to believe that it's the same way as our perspectives and intentions and even our feelings towards someone, some people (like me) look at a situation, analyses it and just stop my feelings from there, but some people look at a situation and they don't care what the statistics are or the possibilities because that's how they see someone and that's how they want to see someone, even through all the hurt and the pain they want to keep going forward because it's all about the intentions.
Most of the time it feels like shit to get your heart broken but once your intentions change, it's freeing it's amazing it feels like you have nothing to be ashamed of or anything, it's amazing
xx
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Slowly Figuring things out
Dear Friend,
Hi, I haven't written you in a while and I'm sorry, although I really must say that I have changed a lot since the last time I wrote to you. Right now I am more assured of some of the things in my life, I am slowly figuring things out and I'm happy that it's like this because I am almost in college and that scares me but I know that God has a great and majestic plan for me.
IT really does give me high anxiety when I think about college but then there's nothing I can do about it it's inevitable and that's what I've been thinking lately, I have a new perspective in life now it's that everything that happens is inevitable and there's nothing that you can do about it, and I wouldn't want to dwell in it because that would just make it worse, I am just going to deal with the situation and handle it with care and move on and pray that it doesn't happen anymore.
xx
Hi, I haven't written you in a while and I'm sorry, although I really must say that I have changed a lot since the last time I wrote to you. Right now I am more assured of some of the things in my life, I am slowly figuring things out and I'm happy that it's like this because I am almost in college and that scares me but I know that God has a great and majestic plan for me.
IT really does give me high anxiety when I think about college but then there's nothing I can do about it it's inevitable and that's what I've been thinking lately, I have a new perspective in life now it's that everything that happens is inevitable and there's nothing that you can do about it, and I wouldn't want to dwell in it because that would just make it worse, I am just going to deal with the situation and handle it with care and move on and pray that it doesn't happen anymore.
xx
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